By  PETER T. COLEMAN, DOUGLAS P. FRY | Greater Good Magazine

Given the grinding wars and toxic political divisions that dominate the news, it might come as a surprise to hear that there are also a multitude of sustainably peaceful societies thriving across the globe today. These are communities that have managed to figure out how to live together in peace—internally within their borders, externally with neighbors, or both—for 50, 100, even several hundred years. This simple fact directly refutes the widely held and often self-fulfilling belief that humans are innately territorial and hardwired for war.

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By  JEREMY ADAM SMITH, KIRA M. NEWMAN | Greater Good Magazine

In the first half of 2021, the Pew Research Center surveyed almost 20,000 people in 17 countries. Their question was simple: “What aspects of your life do you currently find meaningful, fulfilling, or satisfying?”

Each of these advanced economies—including Canada, France, Greece, Japan, New Zealand, South Korea, and Taiwan—was having a different experience at the time. Some were ravaged by COVID-19 and some had very low case counts; many were in economic doldrums, while others were doing fine. In some of these countries, people traveled freely; in others, like Australia and New Zealand, movement was severely curtailed. And, of course, each country has a different culture and history…

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A multidisciplinary team of researchers is discovering what makes some societies more peaceful than others.

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By KAYLIN McGLOTHEN | KX NEWS

Bismarck Public Schools is teaching their students that giving back is key. With the weather steadily growing colder, there is work that needs to be done to clean outdoor recreation areas. Two groups of Wachter Middle School- 8th grade students made their way to the Dakota Zoo to help in their clean up efforts. While at the zoo they helped to rake leaves. Over the course of two days, 300 students were able to take part in the project. The school hosts a community service event every year around this time. Wachter Middle School teacher, Kevin Schmitcke, says this is a great opportunity for kids to work together outside the classroom.

Read more here.

By SCOTT SEIDER, ANNA CARPENTER, CHARIS KANG, DEREK TITCHNER, HEHUA XU, YEZI ZHENG | Greater Good Magazine/Science-Based insights for a Meaningful Life

There are more multiethnic and multi-faith families than ever. A new study reveals how their values and traditions are coming together.

Rishi Mehta and Nora Saperstein decided before they even had children that they wanted to integrate both Rishi’s Sikh religion and Nora’s Jewish religion into their family life. When their twin daughters turned 13 years old—the age at which Jewish children typically participate in Bar or Bat Mitzvahs—Rishi and Nora put together a coming-of-age ceremony that combined elements of both Sikhism and Judaism.

“It was a very public sort of community-based way to make our kids feel part of the multiple communities they were part of,” explained Rishi.  In the months leading up to the event, Rishi and Nora worked with their daughters to study important tenets of both religions. 

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Campus-based professionals are reporting a surge in spiritual seeking and an increase in requests by students for support to explore existential questions. Awakened Campus Summit seeks to honor this moment by offering a platform for professionals to share ways to engage suffering as an invitation for spiritual growth in college students. Presentations from practitioners and researchers will share recent science, practices, and novel approaches to wellness on university campuses. The Summit offers a cross-roads for sharing among our national community of professionals, dedicated to improving the lives of college students. 

For more information, to submit a proposal, or to register, Click Here.

By Holly J. Bertone | Author |Source: Healthline.com

Teaching kids to look after their minds is just as important as teaching them how to care for their bodies.

Introducing children to meditation early on — along with establishing healthy sleep routines and limiting screen time can help them learn how to calm their minds and use healthy coping mechanisms for the rest of their lives. But sometimes, getting a toddler, preschooler, or even an older child to sit in quiet stillness is not as easy as it looks. That’s why you need to keep meditation on their level.

Here, we explore the basics of meditation, benefits, and tips on how to give children of all ages the tools they need to practice.

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By JEREMY ADAM SMITH | Greater Good Magazine

Are you struggling to discover your purpose? That may be because you feel isolated from other people. Here’s how you can overcome that.

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My friend’s teen daughter, Belen, had a big upcoming exam this past semester. Starting a week before the exam, she studied incessantly. Every possible available moment. The night before the exam, she hardly slept—she was too nervous, tossing and turning in bed, going through in her mind all the facts that she needed to know, and worrying that she missed something important. When she finally went in to take the test, she was practically paralyzed with fear, and was barely able to think clearly.Please join me in this blog on spiritual development as I look at spiritual development in young children through reflections of my research and changing thoughts and experiences.  Here is a look at what I call the system of spiritual development.

This is a really tough time for teens. I know what you’re thinking—the teen years have always been tough. But according to the U.S. Surgeon General in his advisory released in December, the pressure that teens are facing today is unprecedented. Youth mental health is in crisis. And it’s not just from the pandemic: According to the 2019 CDC Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance survey, mental health among youth did a nose-dive over the last decade, with depression and sadness increasing by 40%, and those with a suicide plan increasing by 44%.

What’s been going on?

Of course, there are many external factors that play a role. Lockdowns and school closings have kept teens isolated—at a time when the developmentally appropriate thing to do would be connecting with their peers. According to the American Psychological Association’s 2018 report on Stress in America, teens and young adults are stressed from what they hear in the news: gun violence (particularly school shootings and mass shootings), political discord, climate change and global warming, separation and deportation of immigrant families, and sexual assault and harassment.

But here I’d like to focus on something more internal: the exceedingly high standards many teens have for themselves. Whether it’s a desire for straight As, flawless skin, or athletic stardom, the quest to stand out as “the best” often drives teens to be relentlessly hard on themselves, which can lead to feelings of unworthiness and depression. Yet knowing that there is a way out—that they don’t have to relentlessly beat themselves up in order to be successful and happy—can be enormously relieving for teens.

Perfectionism in teens

When my daughter was in high school, she insisted that she take every AP class that was available. Both her dad and I encouraged her to be a little easier on herself, and just take the AP courses in her favorite subjects. We assured her that she’d get into a good college without taking every one. But she insisted, and gave me that classic teen eye roll, which says undeniably, “Mom, you just don’t know…”

Many teens feel like they aren’t good enough unless they are at the top of their class and excel in their sport of choice and are the best at the instrument they play and have a ton of friends and have hundreds of “likes” on whatever they post…you get the idea.

Some of this feeling of not being “good enough” comes from comparing themselves with others, or social comparison. Although it’s perfectly natural to measure yourself against others—it is rooted in our inherent need to belong and be accepted—it isn’t necessarily good for our mental health. The reason is that we become stuck in an impossible conundrum: We feel we can’t be worthy unless we’re better than those we’re comparing ourselves to and—get this—we must be better in everything. In every domain of our lives. Of course, it’s impossible for all of us to be better than everyone else in everything!

For teens, determining your value by comparing yourself with others is perpetuated in schools with grades and GPAs, which make it easy to see precisely how you measure up to your competition. I can still remember what my rank was in my high school graduating class—over 40 years ago! Even worse, social comparison is fueled by social media, where the number of “likes” you receive is a clear indicator of how popular you are. So there’s no hiding or pretending; if you get only a few “likes,” clearly you’re a social failure in the eyes of others. And it’s out there for the world to see. No wonder Franklin Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Comparing oneself to others and striving to be perfect is a recipe for mental health problems. We know from research that self-critical perfectionism—the kind of perfectionism where you set high standards for yourself and criticize yourself when you don’t meet them, where you focus on your failures and constantly doubt yourself—is linked to depression and anxiety. This is a different kind of perfectionism than what researchers call “personal standards perfectionism,” which is unrelated to depression and anxiety, and simply means setting high goals for yourself without the harsh self-criticism. We also know from research that those with self-critical perfectionism worry and ruminate even on weekends and holidays when they should be relaxing, whereas those with the good kind of perfectionism don’t and, as a result, have better overall mood.

What can we do? How can we help teens see that it’s possible to have high standards for themselves, while at the same time treating themselves kindly? That they don’t have to beat themselves up with harsh words and unrelenting self-criticism in order to excel at school and get into a good college? That they can encourage themselves, speaking to themselves kindly—the way they speak to their friends—and, in so doing, keep anxiety and depression at bay?

Ways to combat perfectionism in teens

Simply put, teens can learn how to be more self-compassionate. Self-compassion teaches us to treat ourselves with kindness and support. As defined by Kristin Neff, self-compassion is being aware that you’re struggling, understanding that difficult emotions like hurt, anger, disappointment, and loneliness are part of the human condition, and then taking an active role in supporting and comforting yourself when you’re feeling this way.

In other words, teens can encourage themselves by using the carrot and not the stick. And guess what? Research has shown that the carrot works better.

In one study among teens in Australia, for example, when teens were more self-compassionate, being perfectionistic was less likely to lead to depression. Self-compassion actually protected the teens with perfectionist tendencies from becoming depressed. The same thing happened in another study among Chinese undergraduates: Those who were more self-compassionate were less likely to be depressed, and self-compassion buffered the effects of unhealthy perfectionism on depression.

As Neff has said, self-compassion is the same as being compassionate to others, but doing a U-turn: turning that compassion that we readily give others toward ourselves. If we can be compassionate toward others, there’s no reason we can’t also be compassionate toward ourselves. We’re just not used to it; we haven’t learned how.

But it is possible for teens to learn to be more self-compassionate. Self-compassion can be cultivated and nurtured, and various self-compassion programs have been developed and tested. One is Mindful Self-Compassion for Teens, the teen adaptation of Chris Germer and Kristin Neff’s Mindful Self-Compassion program. Formerly called Making Friends with Yourself, the program (which I co-created) has been found to result in lower anxiety, depression, and stress and, most recently, lower risk factors for suicidal ideation among transgender teens.

In the self-compassion program, teens learn that they don’t have to treat themselves harshly in order to motivate themselves. This is quite eye-opening for teens who think that they won’t get anywhere in life if they are nice to themselves. Second, they learn about common humanity—that other teens are struggling just like them. Although this may be obvious to adults, teens often feel like they are the only ones struggling, and that their peers are confident happy campers, strolling through the teen years with nary a care.

Teens learn short meditation practices that they can do on the spot, whenever they’re feeling upset or anxious, and longer meditation practices that they can do when they have the time. Most importantly, teens learn that they have the ability within themselves to treat themselves with kindness, and that they don’t have to wait for someone else to treat them kindly. Furthermore, they don’t have to be perfect to be deserving of being treated well; they’re reminded that all of us roaming on this planet are imperfect, and being imperfect is, well, perfectly OK.

As for Belen, my friend’s daughter, she’s learning to be more self-compassionate. Of course, she still has to study—self-compassion doesn’t let you off the hook from doing your work. In fact, she’s studying just as much, but doesn’t have the same fear of failing as she once did. She knows that if she fails a test, it doesn’t mean that she’s not a worthy and valuable good person; failing doesn’t change who she is. She’ll just have to regroup, and think of what’s her best and most effective strategy going forward with the subject—or her life. And that’s self-compassionate.

About the Author

By  KIRA M. NEWMAN| Greater Good Magazine

Movement and exercise feel good, as you know if you’ve ever experienced a runner’s high, the restorative power of a pandemic afternoon walk, or a heart-pumping Zumba class. But what accounts for these benefits?

The answer offered by science journalist Caroline Williams in Move!: The New Science of Body Over Mind is deeper and more provocative than just endorphins, and it highlights how our bodies and minds are interconnected in ways we may not even realize.

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According to philosopher Martha Nussbaum, animal justice means allowing animals the freedom to live full lives.

By HOPE REESE | Greater Good Magazine

Should a hummingbird be able to be a plaintiff in court? According to philosopher Martha Nussbaum, the answer is yes.

In her new book, Justice for Animals: Our Collective Responsibility, the distinguished professor of law and philosophy at the University of Chicago offers a new theory of animal justice that is meant to inform our law and policy. Her theory is based on the “capabilities approach,” which looks not only at the harm done to animals, but whether we’re infringing on their freedom to live full lives.

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By  PETER T. COLEMAN, DOUGLAS P. FRY | Greater Good Magazine

Given the grinding wars and toxic political divisions that dominate the news, it might come as a surprise to hear that there are also a multitude of sustainably peaceful societies thriving across the globe today. These are communities that have managed to figure out how to live together in peace—internally within their borders, externally with neighbors, or both—for 50, 100, even several hundred years. This simple fact directly refutes the widely held and often self-fulfilling belief that humans are innately territorial and hardwired for war.

Read more

It’s time for the Greater Goodies, honoring movies from the past year that exemplify optimism, love, empathy, and other keys to our well-being.

BY JEREMY ADAM SMITH, ANDREA COLLIER, SHUKA KALANTARI, JILL SUTTIE, MAY-LEE CHAI, AMY L. EVA, SHANNA B. TIAYON | Greater Good Magazine

For many people, the past year was filled with ups and downs, to an unusual degree. Widespread vaccination against COVID-19 allowed our worlds to open up a bit more, but that promise of greater freedom seemed dashed when the Omicron wave rolled over us. That combination of hope and disappointment seemed to define 2021—and that’s true as well for the films we’re honoring this year with “Greater Goodies,” our version of the Academy Awards. We surveyed our contributors to ask them which films from the past year lifted them up or gave them insight about how humans get through difficult times. Here’s what they came up with.

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Campus leaders across the U.S. are implementing strategies for better relationships, dialogue, and understanding across divides.

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A multidisciplinary team of researchers is discovering what makes some societies more peaceful than others.

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Kids for Peace, a global nonprofit and home to The Great Kindness Challenge, mobilized its network to join together and create the world’s longest recycled paper chain, each paper link decorated with messages of love and hope. Kids for Peace is home to The Great Kindness Challenge, providing a platform for youth to actively engage in socially-conscious leadership, community service, global friendships and thoughtful acts of kindness.

Read more here.

Nine Indigenous youth climate activists journeyed to Glasgow from around the globe to attend COP26. They came here with a shared view of how lands and waters are connected, and how to care for them. They would also like to see plans to protect human rights and Indigenous rights spelled out in the text of the COP agreement. But, even though they have had meetings with top officials, these activists are sometimes on the outside looking in, trying to carve out space for their people. Now that they’re at the conference, they say it sometimes feels like everyone wants to put them in a box and force them to conform to standards with a history of colonialism. 

Link to article here

Bismarck Public Schools is teaching their students that giving back is key. With the weather steadily growing colder, there is work that needs to be done to clean outdoor recreation areas. Two groups of Wachter Middle School- 8th grade students made their way to the Dakota Zoo to help in their clean up efforts. While at the zoo they helped to rake leaves. Over the course of two days, 300 students were able to take part in the project. The school hosts a community service event every year around this time. Wachter Middle School teacher, Kevin Schmitcke, says this is a great opportunity for kids to work together outside the classroom.

Read more here.

By JOHN BICKART, Ph.D | 20 Opportunities to Transform Yourself While Teaching | “Revitalizing Your Ability to Lead” 

“Time is always against us” (The Matrix)

In 1971, I tried to learn to return to the here and now. I went to India where I was meditating for 25 days in an ashram in Haridwar, India, right at the base of the Himalayas, on the Ganges River. It was a beautiful place. I would meditate every day for hours. You come to the here and now. Here is a space. Now is a time. Spacetime. This played on my mind for years and years. Now, I’m 70 years old and I’m just realizing that for the spiritual world – I’ve heard this and I’m just realizing it – time is space. If we give up our time, we go to the spiritual world to a place of here. And, for them (the spiritual beings) – they can’t have a meeting place unless we do that. So, I wrote a story about it. It’s fable #23 in my book, Bickart’s Just-in-Time Fables (2020), which carries a right to copy (which means that they may be copied as a whole or in part and shared in print or any electronic media as long as they are not sold or used to carry advertising).

The Fairy Gate

There was a fairy who lived in the water at the base of a cliff. She lived behind a gate. The gate was in the spiritual world, so if you went there and looked only with your physical eyes, you would not see it. On the gate, inscribed in lettering that had remained forever and ever was this poem…

Eternity

Forever is a time
And also a place.
To be here now
Creates a space.

Everywhere is anywhere
Enter without fear.
Just find the door;
It’s always here.

When will I find Eternity?
When will I learn how?
When will I realize?
The time is now.

The fairy longed for the princess who lived in the castle on the cliff to let go of time, so that they could be together. Often, the princess would dream that she had a friend who was a fairy. But alas, day after day, the princess’s parents, the king and queen, insisted that she keep a schedule. Every day she rose, had a first meal, played in the nursery, had reading time, a second meal, play time in the yard, helped with dinner chores, dinner, helped with clean up, then story time and bed. If the princess was allowed to walk in the woods or swim in the lake, it was done so under supervision, for a designated amount of time. Her parents had inadvertently taught her to lose herself in her schedule. She always knew where she should be. And she always knew when. But in being so adept at WHERE AND WHEN – she had lost HERE AND NOW. Now, there was a further problem. Since the princess never forgot about time, she left no room for the fairy to approach her. To the fairy this was a literal fact. You see, for the fairy, a room or space – a meeting place – could only be created if the princess forgot to have a schedule. TIME for the princess was SPACE for the fairy.

One day, the princess woke from another dream about the fairy. The fairy was pleading with the princess, “Please bring me a present.” “Sure,” said the princess, “what would you like?” “I would love to have your free time,” replied the fairy. “How do I give you time?” asked the princess. “Ask your mother, the queen, for the afternoon, promising to be home for dinner,” explained the fairy. “Come to the weeping willow tree at the edge of the lake with no thought of your schedule. I will meet you there. And I will tell you when it is time to go home for dinner. This will form a place into which I can come to you and we can meet.” “Oh how lovely!”, cried the princess. “How will I know you are there?” The fairy simply replied, “You will feel like you are passing through a gate, and you will see me as if you are in a dream.”

The princess asked her mother for the afternoon and passed through the fairy gate to begin a most beautiful and lasting friendship with the fairy. And from that day forward, the princess knew how to leave the where and when, and pass through the gate to the here and now.

THE WHERE AND WHEN

IS HERE AND NOW

___________________________

References
Bickart, J. (2020). Bickart’s Just-in-Time Fables (Vol. 1). Asheville, NC: Red Shirt Interactive Group.

By JOHN BICKART, Ph.D | 20 Opportunities to Transform Yourself While Teaching / “Reawakening Your Love of Teaching”

What do you do when something terrible happens? Do you think of taking care of yourself first? You should. Then, do you seek the students? That’s what they want. After trauma, we all seek predictable, kind environments – in each other’s company – and teachers are nothing less than pure gold, here. Do you constantly love teaching? Or are you like the rest of us – falling in and out of love? We teachers need forgiveness, accolades, compassion, and understanding. How will we get this? By looking through the eyes of our students!

I don’t know about you, but I went to the school of hard knocks. When I was very young, everything looked good. As I got older, not so much. I guess the hard knocks got to me. Life brought difficulties, responsibilities, good days, and hard ones, too. Then, I started teaching. The youth I taught have given me a fresh start! If I consciously use their eyes to perceive the world, I have a window into the beautiful and the good. Yes, I have to make the effort, but it works. I believe that it works because the world is inherently good and the youth are innately wise enough to know this. They have a spiritual knowing that is true. They KNOW that the world is good. So, when I need to reawaken my love of teaching, I look into their eyes and through their eyes … and there it is – the knowing that I had temporarily forgotten. 

The Unseen.

Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” So today, I’m going to tell you a story that I told at the wonderful Rainbow Community School, here in Asheville, NC in 2017. I was guest teaching science lessons and a science club. One day, we paused doing science experiments for the following story. It’s one of my favorites. It was first told to me in a room full of adults. So, it was told to adults, but it’s about a story told to children. It comes, inspired by a story from Laurens Van der Post in his book The Heart of the Hunter (1961). But I’ve changed it over the years and for almost half a century now, I’ve been telling this story to children. It’s my absolute favorite story. I’ve also told it to adults, so I’m telling it to you today. It’s about the unseen. 

“The Milk Maiden”

Once, there was a story. The story was for adults, but in the story, you hear about another story that was told to children. It was told over and over. It was told by a babysitter in the Kalahari, a semi-arid desert in Southern Africa. Every time the babysitter came, the children asked her to tell their favorite story. Now, I will tell you the one she told the children.

Once upon a time, there was a young farm boy. His job was to watch over the cows as they grazed. Every day, he took the cows to the same place. It was a pasture up on the side of the mountain. Over the pasture was a cliff that hung in the air just above the cows. Every day, the boy brought the cows and looked up at the rock cliff to wonder what lay beyond. On the whole, he was happy. But then there came this one different day. Today, the boy brought the cows to the pasture, as he had always done, without any knowledge that on this occasion, his life would change forever.

The pasture looked the same. The cows started to graze as they always did. The boy sat down as he usually would, but then a singular event occurred. A rope descended from the rock cliff just above the pasture. Then, to the boy’s continuing amazement, a young girl started to climb down the rope. She was holding a stool and a bucket. 

The boy hid behind a large rock in the pasture. The girl reached the pasture floor, walked over to the cows, and sat on her stool, placing her bucket under a cow, and coaxed the milk from the cow. When the cow had filled her bucket, she proceeded to the rope and ascended. The boy watched with incredulity.  All the rest of that day and into that night, the boy wondered about the strange girl from the cliff above. What was she doing? Where was she from? Why would she take the milk from the cows – milk that clearly belonged to someone else? Finally, after turning these ideas over and over in his mind, he resolved to watch and wait for the milk maiden to see if she would come back. 

She did. The very next day, just after he arrived at the pasture, she came down the rope and milked a cow. Then, she left as abruptly as she came.  On the third day, the boy’s observational focus had become extreme. He was now making up his mind that if she came again, he would detain her. He genuinely needed to find out what was going on. 

She came. The boy leaped out from his hiding rock and apprehended her.  “What are you doing? That is the milk of the farmer,” he said, “and you are just taking it without permission. “The milk maiden said nothing. She looked intently into the farm boy’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity, then simply said, “I will come to live with you, if you allow me to go back up the rope once more.”  The boy did not know what to say. He was not expecting this. She would live with him? He did not ask this. He just wanted to know what she was doing? After all, she was stealing milk. And now, instead of explaining herself, she said that she would live with him? So, the boy just stood and stared. Suddenly, he found his mouth saying, “Alright.”

So, the girl proceeded to milk a cow and go back up the rope.  Another day passed, then another. On the third day, she came back. This time she climbed down the rope without the milking pail or the stool. But she did have a small box, about the size of a book. She came over to the boy and explained, “I will stay with you as long as you do not look into this box until I say.” The boy agreed, and so they lived together … in the same room, for quite some time.

On many days, the girl would leave the room and the boy would stare at the box she had brought and wonder what it contained. But he never, never looked inside, until this one day.  She was gone and the boy could wait no longer. He crossed the room, opened the box, and looked inside. Afraid that she would come into the room and see him, he quickly closed the box and put it back just as it had been.

The girl came back into the room, looked at the boy, then the box, then spoke directly to the boy, saying, “I must leave.” Taking up the box, she walked out toward the setting sun and was never seen again.

____________________

 At this point the babysitter would always say to the children, “And do you know why the milk maiden left?” The she would add emphatically, “It was not because the farm boy looked into the box!” Then, with a dramatic pause, she would finish, “It was because he didn’t see anything in the box.”

____________________

With that, the babysitter was finished. Now, I personally need to add something. When I was told this story, I was in a room of adults. I’m pretty sure that none of us knew exactly what the story meant. And I’m also pretty sure that we all had the same questions. First of all, how did she know he had looked in the box. Was there something or things in the box? If there was, why didn’t he see anything? And most of all, why would his not seeing be grounds for her to leave?

____________________

This beautiful, mysterious story has stirred in me for almost half a century, now. So, I give it to you. I don’t have the answers. But it makes me respect the unseen and watch and look at life even more carefully than ever before. It causes me to wonder. 

____________________ 

References

Van der Post, L. (1961). The Heart of the Hunter … With drawings by Maurice Wilson. Pp. 254. Hogarth Press: London.

By BETH STYLES | Producer, Composer, Artist

If you’re a fan for life of “The Wizard of Oz” like me, you’re probably familiar with the ‘big reveal’ (spoiler alert…), that moment – when Dorothy’s little dog Toto discovers an inconspicuous booth (how did we not see it earlier?) in the corner, exposing the “man behind the curtain” aka, the “Wizard” (‘Great & Terrible’ Oz) aka an ordinary man (ok, he was a circus magician…) from Nebraska, whose air balloon sailed off course into a land that had never witnessed such a spectacle.  Alas, he found himself being worshiped as a great sorcerer, and then painfully doing his best to sustain the myth.  Maybe it felt euphoric to be so admired at first, but keeping up the charade had to feel increasingly lonely and bleak… it’s no wonder he morphed into a frightening version of himself…  Anyway… THEN… miraculously, Toto steps in as protagonist at this major turning point, barking to the rescue, saving our beloved foursome, the land of Oz, the Wizard, and all of us, if we’re up for it…

Perhaps this ‘historical’ metaphor begs the question, what’s behind the “curtain” for each of us?  What possible myths or burdens are we carrying?  Maybe the physical masks we grew accustomed to wearing over the past few years helped us sneak and ‘hide out’ more easily… but chances are, we were already skillful in our very own styles of ‘sorcery’ ;).  While the lists of possible errs we may torture ourselves with replenish ongoingly, some of what we may be withholding are our biggest, brightest, and highest dreams.  If we could only get beyond that ‘curtain’… (where’s Toto?!).

For those who are experiencing a space of healthy mind and spirit, ready to invent new possibilities and adventure in life, here’s what could be a fun perspective on loosening up that “curtain”.   Many top life coaches, philosophers, and transformational self-help education courses note, that recognizing the ‘background’ chatter in our minds; our thoughts and feelings – both positive and negative, is one of the first steps in clearing the way for manifesting our highest dreams.  And so, as we rise and do our best to shine each new day, tackling our ‘to do’ lists and fulfilling our commitments at work, home, and to ourselves… what’s in the background?

The first step is to recognize the phenomenon itself, that the brain has an ongoing background ‘conversation’, basically on automatic, reacting to whatever stimuli pops up, every waking hour.  Sometimes described as the “little voice” in our heads (if you’re saying to yourself “what voice?” you just found it…), it ironically has a mind of its own.  In a nutshell, we may not be thinking our own thoughts.  But don’t panic… there’s excellent news!!  That background chatter is not the actual representative of who we really are.  Toto will help us reveal who that is in a moment…

The pickle we find ourselves in as human beings, is that without recognizing the background chatter AND keeping an eye on what it’s saying, our little voice can sometimes go rogue and play a bit of a saboteur.  It may have ‘good intentions’ to protect us, and of course we must listen and trust our gut about real danger – but being the rascal that it is – it can often wind up judging life, others, ourselves – misinterpreting the meaning of past experiences, and developing “theories” about the world, that don’t serve our best interests.  Without noticing, our background theories can potentially become the lens through which we view all of life.   Imagine putting on a pair of glasses with emerald green lenses.  After a while, if we forget we have them on, theoretically, we might begin to believe that everything we see is emerald green. If our saboteur has its way, this emerald view of life might have us feeling like we’re stuck in a glop of… SLIME?  However, when we give ourselves the lead voice, our view can be a clear path to the Emerald City itself, while sipping a shiny Shamrock Shake!

Becoming aware of what’s in the background – intervening, and showing our chatter who’s boss, can make way for the most freeing, new and bold experiences of our lives.  We will continue proving our theories right, but they can be the theories we design. Anything becomes possible.  Segue back to Oz… At last – we become our inner Toto, pulling back the curtain… Huzzah!

Dr. Dan Tomasulo, SMBI’s Academic Director, wrote a new book: “Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression” which has been named one of the best books for depression in 2021. Dan shared: Hope is the only positive emotion to require negativity or uncertainty to be activated. Learned hopefulness demonstrates how hope can be taught and cultivated, and how doing so gives us the ability to become more resilient in the presence of daunting obstacles. As a result the new science of hope is improving outcomes in medicine, education, psychotherapy, and business—and this is only the beginning of understanding its potential.

Link to Dan’s book: “Learned Hopefulness”: 

Read the article about the best books for depression HERE.

I had the pleasure of presenting the main research of CSE at the Symposium on the Spirituality of Children hosted by Virginia Theological Seminary in late October 2021. While I often present our research, and our work is often well received, this particular presentation felt like a spiritual community. The people who were together shared from their own practice, and felt that our research reflected what they had seen in their classrooms over the last several decades. That, too, felt aligned, as our research was conducted by interviewing and observing master educators to understand what they did. It truly felt as though we were co-creating a spiritually supportive conference space, one where everyone felt seen, known, and valued. It was a profound experience for me! You can view the recordings from the Symposium here.

By BETH STYLES | Producer, Composer, Artist

As the world takes another ‘tour’ around the sun, choirs and a multitude of musical artists are still waiting for theirs… since health warnings still loom for public gatherings, and especially singing.  There was a glimmer of hope before Omicron, and as the director of a community inspirational choir (New World Chorus), I know how much the group was looking forward to reuniting for some outdoor holiday singing after canceling last year.  Fondly known as the “Street Angels” annual event, the choir traditionally takes a spin around town on a yellow school bus, singing for seniors, serenading at the Stamford Town Center, and jingling at the Palace Theater as children gleefully emerge from the Nutcracker.  This has always been a special outing, where the choir is not under pressure like at a concert venue, doing what they love, and having the unique opportunity to share joy and surprise passersby – a gift that never gets old.

And then, once more, heartbreak set in, as we needed to cancel yet again.  Of course, this melancholy postponement can never be compared to the despair of Covid’s real life losses, or to urgent issues such as addressing the emotional toll of isolation on children and/or seniors.  And while isolation for any and all of us impacts society as a whole, this is more of a reflective “note” on how when this beloved musical treasure seemed indefinitely missing, the human spirit rose up with clever solutions to conquer this saboteur, or musical “Grinch” if you will.  

I’m speaking about the new world of “virtual choir videos”.  When the ban of public singing sank in, taking a million breaths away… like many other producers, I donned my parachute and took a leap of faith into this new world – even launching a new division of my production company called “Virtual Sanctuaries”, to help support music directors and choirs across the country.  By now most folks have likely seen this phenomenon on social media – and for sure, it really helped soften the blow, providing some refuge for the time being.  Choirs met on Zoom to practice, albeit muted, but at least connecting, and working together on music to record.  Ok, alone… in a quiet room… but then VOILA! Modern technology brings it all together…  and before you knew it, in an unexpected harmonious twist, virtual choir videos slowly became a new powerful, inspirational tool used by choirs worldwide.  Kind of like a new era of “MTV”… choir version. 

Perhaps well said by the now world famous “virtual choir” genius Eric Whitaker, “the virtual choir would never replace live music or a real choir, but the same sort of focus and intent and esprit de corps is evident in both, and at the end of the day it seems to me a genuine artistic expression.” 

If you’ve ever had the experience of singing in a choir, you’re not a stranger to its power.  And/or if you happen to be an admirer of this art form, you’ve likely been moved in the presence of its majesty – be it Gospel, American Classical or Pop, Theater ensembles, or Mormon Tabernacle-ish, just to name a few.  So what is this power magnifique? What is this Je ne sais quoi ingredient that brings on the goose bumps?  The words I’ve most often heard to describe this experience by both choir and audience, be it secular or religious repertoire, is deeply “spiritual”.  And I’ve come to understand that people use this word to describe that which is indescribable.  And, perhaps, if we had to name it, we might describe it as universal love.  

Music, can spontaneously transform an unbearable moment of despair into an unexpected joy.  And, in particular, expressed by a chorus – young and older, can shine a light on the glorious connection that is innate in human beings.  Here’s to the wonder of it all – and the hope that we get to experience that spiritual, indescribable, magic up close and personal in this new year! 

The Reverend Norman Hull, chaplain at Campbell Hall in southern California and CSE fellow, has recently written a reflection on his work encouraging middle school students to share their spirituality through the school’s Chapel program. As Norman describes, “A 6th-grade boy reflected in chapel on his love of science by saying, ‘In science there is always a new challenge and something new to do and that is what keeps it interesting. He went on to connect the Bible message from Isaiah to his homily by saying that, ‘it reminds me of how God’s ways are more spectacular than our ways and this connects to my love of science because with science you can understand so much, but there’s always so much more you can’t understand.’ When students realize that there is so much they don’t know, they are tapping into the mystery and sacredness of life.” Norman’s reflection for the National Association of Episcopal Schools Chaplain’s Blog, “Connections Between Spirituality, Chapel and the Classroom,” can be found can be found HERE.